Effective networking
Managing your time effectively
Dealing with difficult negotiations

Effective Networking

“Networking” is one of those words that strikes terror into the heart of jobseekers and entrepreneurs everywhere.  It conjures up images of wandering round a function room  trying to offload your business card or telephone number (if you don’t have a business card) to as many people as you can, most of whom  you are fully aware will bin it either straight away or the next morning. 
We hate the idea of networking because we think it makes us look pushy, false or just plain desperate.  Well – crass attempts to ask people we hardly know for a job will have exactly that effect. But networking – done properly and well – is one of the most important elements of an effective job search strategy.  Consider the facts: 80% of jobs are never advertised, and around 60% of executive vacancies are filled through networking.
  It’s a job-search strategy that works.

So how do you network effectively?  Here are some top tips:

· Don’t ask for a job - The most important thing to remember is that networking is NOT about asking people for a job.  It IS about asking people for information, advice or assistance.  AND it’s as much about asking what you can do for them as what they can do for you.

· Share and share alike - Think of networking as being about gathering and sharing ideas – see yourself as a knowledge resource: the more people you meet, the more information you will have that you can pass around.  Make yourself a useful contact to other people.  Be prepared to share your information and contacts in return.

· Who do you network with? - Start with people that you know.  Not only is it less daunting, but it’s time-effective to build on your existing network rather than try to create a completely new one from scratch.   Think you don’t know anybody?  What about people you currently work with – or have worked with in the past.  Think about the people you socialise with – and their girlfriends/partners/parents/friends.  If everyone you know in turn knows just another 10 people, it’s not hard to see how you potentially have access to hundreds – even thousands – of people.

· Identify New Avenues to Pursue - Do try to expand your network to include people whom you wouldn’t ordinarily come into contact with – perhaps from professions, cultures or backgrounds very different from your own.  This is a great way of broadening your horizons and helping yourself to think creatively and more imaginatively about your career options.   

· Be clear on what you want to achieve -  Remember, you are NOT asking your contacts for a job.  But you might want to ask them for ideas about career opportunities you haven’t thought of, more information about options that you are already considering, or advice on your CV.  And remember to ask every contact if they can in turn put you in touch with two or more further contacts – that’s how you grow your network.

· Meet your contacts face-to-face - It’s much easier to strike up a rapport, you will be much more memorable to them, and they’ll probably give you far more information than they would have done in a telephone call or an email.  But only ask for 15 minutes of their time – most people are too busy to give up a 1-hour slot.  Chances are, if they agree to 15 minutes, you’ll get the best part of half-an-hour. 

· Do research beforehand - Make sure you know as much as possible about the person you are meeting and how they may be able to help you – you want a focused discussion, not just a pleasant but ineffectual chat.   People will be impressed if you are well-prepared – and if you’re not, they may feel you are wasting their time as well as your own.

· Follow-up - Follow up all the leads you receive, even if they don’t look too promising in the first instance.  Firstly you can never tell how useful someone might be until you speak to them. Nor who they in turn might be able to put you in touch with. Secondly, because if someone has gone to the trouble of giving you a lead or a contact, it’s simply rude not to follow that up.  Also make sure that you write – or at least email - to thank the person who has given some of their time to you.

· Set yourself some targets - For example, aim to contact 3 new people every week.  Don’t set yourself a target that is unachievable, and don’t confuse quantity with quality. Make sure you give yourself time to prepare properly before you chat with someone, and follow up properly afterwards.

· Keep good records of all contacts - Keep notes about what you talked about, anything you know about them and so on.  Don’t kid yourself that you will be able to remember all this information – you won’t!  So put in place a good record-keeping system from the outset.

· Be patient - Finally, remember that networking is a long-term strategy, not a short-term fix.  Don’t get frustrated if the first person you talk to doesn’t offer you a job on the spot!  Put time and effort into building up – and nurturing - your network and it will pay dividends throughout your career.

Managing your Time Effectively

How's your time management? Do you feel you never have enough hours in the day?  Do you go to bed exhausted but still feel you haven't achieved enough?  There are so many demands on our time that it can be almost impossible to fit everything in.  And if you've got the extra pressure of trying to find a new job, it can all just seem too much.  Job-hunting can be a fulltime job in itself, so how do you balance that along with all your other responsibilities? 
The secret to managing your time well is to be clear about what your priorities are and disciplined about using your time in a way that reflects those priorities.  With a bit of thought, planning and practice, you can free up hours every week to spend on the things that matter to you.  




Here are some good tips to help you reclaim time for yourself:

• De-clutter.  If your home is full of clutter and possessions you don't use or need, you end up wasting time just trying to keep things tidy and under control.  Having a really good clear-out makes your life easier and gives you a real psychological boost.  Get rid of old newspapers, magazines, junk mail and other paperwork that you don't need.  Buy some files or storage boxes and keep paperwork that you do need in an easily accessible place.  Clear out your wardrobe too - get rid of anything that doesn't fit you or that you haven't worn in the last year.  Aim to keep your home as streamlined as possible - it'll save you a lot of time and help you feel more in control of your life generally.
• Don't try to do too much.  Be more relaxed about housework and chores, for instance - it's not the end of the world if you haven't cleaned the house! If you share a flat, either with a partner or friends, take it in turns to cook.  Prepare meals in bulk and put the extras in the freezer.  Get your clothes for the next day ready the night before to save time in the morning.  A bit of domestic planning like this can free up a lot of time for you to spend on more important things.  
• De-clutter emotionally as well as physically.  How often do you find yourself doing things that you don't want to do, but that you feel you "ought" to do?  Try eliminating the words "ought " and "should" from your vocabulary for a week.  Only do things that you need to do or want to do - and see how much time you free up!  Don't be afraid to say "no" if your friends are pressurising you to go out and you don't want to - you need to find time for yourself, too.  And don't be afraid to ditch people who are an emotional drain  - if you always feel worse after you've seen them, don't waste your time and energy on them!  Surround yourself with people who are positive and encouraging.        
• Prioritise and plan.  Most of us spend a huge proportion of our time doing things that we don't actually think are very important.  Make a list of the three most important things for you to spend your time on at the moment - job-hunting, spending time with your friends and family, and so on.  Now keep a diary for a week and note how much time you spend doing these things - and how much on other things that are less important.  Resolve to find time for the important things by reducing some of the other demands on your time.  If you need to, put "appointments" with yourself in your diary - and keep them!  
• If you're job hunting, set aside time to take some action every day.  A "little and often" approach like this is more effective. Put together a plan for yourself which incorporates actions such as networking, keeping your CV up-to-date, identifying and researching opportunities.  Make sure that you do one thing every day that is aimed at getting you closer to your ideal job.  
• Finally, build in some time off for yourself.  None of us can survive for long if we are running in top gear all the time.  Give yourself some regular "space" - have an evening to yourself, pour a glass of wine, chill out with some mellow music - whatever it takes for you to get things back into perspective and focus on the bigger picture.  If you regularly take time to recharge your batteries, you'll cope much better.  An important part of good time management is to take some time off now and then!  

Copyright: City Life Coaching 2004

Dealing with difficult negotiators

More often than we would like, we find ourselves negotiating with people who are rude, belligerent or dishonest. These people may lie, threaten us, or refuse to listen to our ideas. We might ask for a salary raise, and they belittle our value or our contribution to the company. Such negative tactics can easily provoke a reciprocal response from us; that is, confronted with such nasty behaviour, we push back just as hard. This confrontational situation produces deadlocks and often damages our working relationship with the other side. Thus, we hinder our ability to achieve our goals for the negotiation. A key part of being an effective negotiator is responding to such aggressive behaviour effectively and constructively. The following tips should help you effectively deal with the difficult negotiatior.

1. Reflect, don't react.
Many people respond to difficult negotiators by getting flustered, withdrawing from the conversation, mirroring the other side's activities - or even conceding the point. By reacting to difficult negotiators, you allow them to dictate the course of the negotiation and give them more power over you. Reflect; don't react. Don't say anything right away, no matter how angry or frustrated you might feel. Relax, let off steam and stay in control of yourself - maybe by counting to ten or calling a conference or a timeout. Allow them to continue their obnoxious behaviour, if they wish. When they attack your ideas, don't defend them; if they attack you, don't counter. Focus your energy on developing an effective strategy.

2. Ask yourself, Why might they be acting this way?
Strange as it may seem, most difficult negotiators are not really difficult people. They may be normal folks who, when presented with tough problems or situations, act in ways that aren't very constructive. Or, they might be people who have learned ineffective ways to negotiate. Before writing them off, put yourself in their shoes and see if you can find reasons for their behaviour. Are they under severe time pressures? Are they overburdened with responsibilities and demands? Do they lack experience in negotiating the items you are discussing? None of these reasons excuse their rudeness, but it may help you understand their motivations and see them as people with whom you can work.

3. Ask yourself, am I contributing to the problem?
Occasionally, difficult negotiators are only reacting to our provocative actions. If we interrupt them, belittle their views, or refuse to discuss alternatives to our proposals, then it should not surprise us when they act the same way. Becoming aware of our contribution to the problem, and taking ownership of it by apologising and changing our behaviour, can be a powerful tool in changing the activities of the other side.

4. Decide if you want to change the game.
It is not always worth the trouble to directly confront difficult negotiators. It may be that their tactics are not preventing you from attaining your goals. Perhaps they are vindictive, powerful managers, and you cannot afford to cross them. Or you might believe that you play their game better than they do; that is, you think you can achieve your goals in spite of being difficult yourself. Of course, you can choose not to do anything to change their behaviour - just make sure this is a conscious choice and not an emotional reaction.

5. To change the game, negotiate the process.
A particularly effective strategy for changing difficult negotiators' behaviour is to directly address the problematic approach, share its negative impact on you, and suggest a better process for negotiating your issues. Display the behaviour you want them to exhibit. When they attack your views, hear them out, acknowledge their point and their right to disagree with you, and then reframe whatever they say as positively as you can. Avoid rejecting their positions. Instead, ask problem-solving questions (e.g., "How might we do that?"). When you make your points, share your reasoning and data - not just your conclusions. Explain to them how it is mutually beneficial to negotiate amicably with you - the negotiations will be more efficient and you will be able to develop more creative ideas if you listen to one another. As a result, they will be more likely to achieve their goals in the negotiation.

6. Never forget that you can always walk away.
Some difficult negotiators may resist all your attempts to modify their behaviour. Do not feel trapped in the negotiation as a result. Instead, exercise your choice to walk away and pursue alternative actions that address your needs and objectives. Your aim is to bring difficult negotiators to their senses, not to their knees. Rather than threatening to march out the door right away, warn them that you may have to end the negotiations and find more productive ways to accomplish your goals.

Summary
Difficult negotiators can't always be avoided. When you have to deal with them, don't allow their behaviour to deflect you from achieving your goals. Don't be difficult just because they are.